Ah jail, what a great idea. All the people who don’t act right, just lock 'em in a room together and they’ll come out good. Works every time.

/s

Math checks out. Hang on, that’s barely faster than Voyager II.

That’s fucking insaaaaaaaaaane holy shit

Bonk, go to angry jail

I would love to make pemmican sometime, would be a great excuse to force my family to go hiking

If you’re sure. It’s built for One Roll Engine, where basically stat+skill = d10s rolled for matches. The face value and count of your matched rolls both mean different things, e.g swinging a sword rolling four 2s happens early in the turn and hits pretty hard, but you got them in the leg. It’s a fun system and easy to homebrew for, but hardly anyone plays it.

… Hmm, my cloud stuff is badly incomplete. I’ll have to fire up scrivener on my old computer later this morning. Unless I’ve changed your mind lol

It’s that literally surreal quality, I noticed it too. It’s like a whole state fell for its own image and now can’t let the facade down.

You say that, but you’ve never seen my homebrewed freeform spellcasting ruleset.

Hate that shit. Just as bad as THAC0.

I wasn’t debating you, just shooting the breeze. You might be right, I just wish they’d give up and do something interesting for once.

Is it a measure of interest when they decide not to keep making it? I mean come on, if there’s interest tell it to Disney.

Wow, really? All it took was nobody giving a shit for a decade!

I did not know that. That is a fun fact!

Dallas Fort Worth and Houston both felt like a place God forgot. Didn’t visit the rest of Texas, I could have been picking up on the state’s overall vibe.

Aw cheers, thanks for reading. I dream of finding a horse furry to pick their brains for better material. Something that really demonstrates a genuinely prurient mania that a non-horsefucker can’t really replicate. A joke like this is like Evel Knievel, you just hit the gas and go for airtime, yanno?

Actually, I was working on something similar. The original ‘stable relationship’ joke is very compact and for me, kind of unfunny. I decided to adapt it into an Aristocrats format. I wanted to spin this out into a five minute monologue and commit it to memory, someday:

A man has been admitted to the trauma unit after inserting a massive collection of objects into his anus, following an unhinged crime spree of public indecency, raucous violence, and gravely harmful bestiality.

He was apprehended by police at the Churchill Downs after a dispute with a jockey. Apparently he had pinched their riding crop and was whipping himself and shrieking like a mare in heat. He was discharged from custody immediately, as it was apparent he had a life-threatening number of objects inside his body. Later, the partially-eaten body of a horse was found hidden under a pile of shit-covered hay. The opinion of the forensics lab was that the horse was slain in a crime of passion.

On arrival, doctors found the man completely insensitive to all known sedatives, until they tried a near-lethal cocktail of horse tranquilizers and Mongolian fermented horsemilk known as airag, which calmed him enough for imaging to be taken.

The preliminary x-rays showed eight My Little Pony toys and one limited edition plushie of Twilight Sparkle, a hardback copy of Equus and a well-worn paperback of Animal Farm, an unloaded Colt revolver, half a lucky horseshoe, a lasso, a ten gallon hat, a pink Himalayan salt lick, figurines of Mr. Ed, Maximus, and Secretariat, a Lego cowboy set, a half-empty pony keg, two white knight chess pieces and one black one which kept on falling out (because he’s been shitting himself uncontrollably this whole time you see), and the broken staff of a hobby horse, which protruded three feet from him. The head of the hobby horse he was using as a sort of codpiece, whose whereabouts are currently unknown. It was later found on eBay and recovered at great expense.

Prior to the procedure, his condition was reported as ‘stable’.

Anyway, it’s not quite there yet. There are some parts that feel kind of hat on a hat? I’d appreciate any notes you might have, I’ll take any critical feedback; after all, you don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

That’s incredible, goddamn!

Sorry, I can’t tell you what you want to hear. I have one metal straw and it gives me Final Destination vibes.

Somehow, Palpatine grooved

I have silicone straws that have been in regular use for several years. They came with little plunger doohickeys for cleaning, which is nice. Can’t boil and eat them afterwards, but I’m on a diet.