• FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.worldOP
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    11 months ago

    I swear there was a better version out there somewhere but after a solid minute of looking for it, I gave up and posted this one.

    • FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.worldOP
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      11 months ago

      Oh hey, here it is:

      Own a P90 for home defense, as Gen. Hammond intended. Four Jaffa break into my base. “What the devil?” I say as I grab my P90 and C4. Put 40 rounds through the first Jaffa, he’s dead on the spot. Turn my gun on the second, the rounds over penetrate and nail the neighbors dog. The magazine runs dry, and I’m forced to resort to the stinger on top of the stairs. “Jaffa kree!” I shout as I pull the trigger. The missile punches through one man, continuing down the street to blow up a car. I detonate my C4 under the last Jaffa, watching as he gropes vainly for his missing legs before bleeding out.

      Ahh. Just as Gen. Hammond intended.