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3·5 months ago“Let me get back to you on that…”
You have a baby.
In Mos Eisley cantina.
Only the shadow knows…
4·10 months ago2 year lifecycle and a 3 year payment plan.
So I go to the 40k universe and all of the other beings are the size of my pinkie…
I always called them “arrogant for no reason”
The trooves are out there.
Nail gun lobotomy? Or maybe that was my band name in the 00’s. I don’t remember for some reason.
Stomp: “I’ll have a rum . . . . And coke.”
Bartender: “why the pause?”
Stomp: “Dunno, I’ve always had them.”
112·1 year agoRaw irritated penis
I can tell when the batteries on my cordless mouse have died. There’s a strange feeling of resistance when the mouse is active, but when it’s dead, nothing.
Gimme a stoner any day. Better than trying to talk a roided up jock half way through a bottle of tequila out of punching his nana. I don’t consume myself because weed just puts me to sleep. I guess I’m mellow enough.
Remember when Idiocracy was a farce instead of a documentary?
7·2 years agoI have revived multiple computers and my mom’s windshield wipers with concussive application of a rubber chicken.
Diesel too?
My cat is obsessed with my socks. If a load of clean laundry has been left too long before it gets folded and put away, my socks will be scattered throughout the house.
So did she get you the soda?