• 3 Posts
  • 187 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 8th, 2023

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  • You have to watch an ad to crank your car.

    Every time you bring your car to a full stop while it is running, an ad plays through your audio system and displays on your radio.

    You have to watch an ad to make a phone call.

    When your phone rings, it plays an ad jingle, call JG Wentworth 877 cash now.

    When you send a text message or write a text post to an online system, an ad is injected with your text post so that readers in order to read what you wrote also have to read the ad.

    If you have Smart lights or anything smart in your home, in order to use it you have to watch an ad.

    In order to pay for something with a credit card you have to watch an ad on the credit card machine and click one of the choices that are offered to you.

    Smart pillows that play hypnotic ads at you in your sleep.

    Your electric toothbrush requires an ad to be played the whole time it is being used, and if you brush your teeth for less than the length of the ad, then they take a dollar from you.

    Some guy comes to your house and screams logos and add quotes at you all of the time. If you try to get him to shut up he murders you and your entire family.

    Replace the guy with a robot.





  • I wrote it out as if it were the spec script plot of a movie.

    Guys out with his friends watching the eclipse and all of a sudden some other guy walks up behind him puts an umbrella up and covers over the view right at the apex of the eclipse. He turns to look at that guy and the guy says don’t look at the Sun. As soon as he says that all of the main characters friends suddenly explode in a puff of dust.

    The guy starts freaking out and then eventually they end up working their way back to the house as he has the other guy the angel explains what is going on

    It’s the end of days. the eschaton. And the Sun is claiming every single person it can.

    This guy claims to be your angel. To prove it he shows obviously hobbycraft Dollar store wings and a Halo that’s clearly being supported by a strand.

    The guy says that there must be something going on I’m going to look at my phone as they’re driving around and right as he’s about to open up the news the guy slaps the phone down and it says don’t look at your phone.

    As someone who freezes the video should be able to see a picture of the eclipse on the phone, from a camera stuck pointing up at it and everyone who looks at it to turn it off instantly explodes

    Why did the angel save the man? Is the Angel actually an angel? What things happen?

    The angel says that the guy is not exactly the best dude in the world. And given that is the end of days this is the last chance you’ll have to make everything right and the angel kind of goofed off a little bit so you know I got to figure out a way together to get him into heaven so that the angel also gets to go to heaven and to do that they’ve got to do some good deeds really fucking quick, well everyone that even catches a glimpse of a reflection of the eclipse Sun immediately explodes into dust.






  • I think we are a lot better at pretending that people don’t kill each other often and for little reason than people from 1,000 years ago.

    It’s almost as if the reason it was made into one of the ten commandments was that people did it so much that the leaders at the time felt they needed to try to put a stop to it.

    Probably the same thing with lying and lusting after your friend’s wives and properties. In lieu of a government and system strong enough to protect you, you would have to defend yourself against your stronger or better armed neighbors taking everything they want from you, including your life.