ConstableJelly

Beginning the trailer with an earnest, unironic pronouns joke is absolutely the worst possible way to advertise that your antiquated, creatively bankrupt spoof series is returning for the right reasons. That joke would have been worth a groan at best 10 years ago on the Babylon Bee.

Then “I’m a Republican now so I’m supposed the be racist.”

Then “There are no safe spaces.”

And the tagline “Every line will be crossed.”

If this movie is somehow successful, whoever’s remaining at the Daily Wire will be kicking themselves that they couldn’t afford to fund it themselves.

And that’s on top of the pitifully tired gags like calling the “Wednesday” reference character “Tuesday” or the dildos.

“If you don’t figure out how to be excited to live here, you’re just going to be left behind.”

We got terribly swarmed in a very remote area in Michigan’s upper peninsula while walking in the woods. My partner and I grabbed pine branches and started waving them around us while we ran back, but my dog kept thinking I was playing as I tried to wave them around her and would run off from me. Within 20 minutes of getting back, she was covered in massive lumps all over her body, her lips and ears were grossly swollen, and she started breathing really, really shallowly.

There were no open or emergency vets anywhere nearby, so we tried to give her some benadryl and water as best we could. Luckily, she was well-recovered by morning. But the danger posed by swarms of mosquitos became abundantly clear to me.

Sounded like Keith David to me.

I’m also playing this for the first time after owning it for a while. Took me a while to really get into it - it’s the first high-production, AAA action game that I’ve played in a while, and it felt strangely linear and repetitive. The puzzles are so clearly tailored to your specific abilities they feel kind of silly against the otherwise immersive world. The rewards and upgrades are kind of trivial on normal difficulty; I’m still mostly spamming normal and sidekick attacks for every battle.

Eventually though I settled into the rhythm and I noticed that stuff less. The acting and scene choreography are outstanding - it feels like theater in a way that’s unique to my experience with games. And I’m enjoying it more for what it is. It’s just overall not landing as satisfyingly as the first one did, and I think that’s because indie games have done increasingly cool things since the 2018 game came out and I’ve been playing them more, and my tastes have just changed a lot.

I did read the synopsis of it and thought it sounded like an interesting take. I’m not sure I liked the movie enough to bother with the sequel though. As an ending to its own contained story, it felt really tone-deaf.

I just watched The Black Phone last night. Spoiler:

Fucking yikes.

I’m not convinced there’s a conspiracy here. Seems entirely likely that Rotten Tomatoes has no contingency for the release of a movie so blatantly sycophantic and propagandistic that the only people spending money on tickets are those who are already bought into the fantasy.