We could always start a theory that Elon is the Zodiac Killer. He probably doesn’t deserve that level of notoriety, but it would make for an overly drawn out crime documentary. Just bring in some “experts” off of Ancient Aliens, along with the phrase “could it be” so you have some standing when you’re inevitably sued for slander.
$80/month for 300Mbps down/10 Mbps up, Southeastern US. Consistently get higher download speeds than advertised, currently around 350Mbps. Upload speed is never more than 10Mbps.