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Joined 11 months ago
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Cake day: August 16th, 2023

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  • You have to keep in mind the scenarios where it will be used. While truly fast charging does exist today (20 minutes or so for 80% charge), that is not widespread, nor is that the way it’s typically done. Level 3 (DC fast charging) is expensive (moreso than gas), potentially detrimental to the battery, and still usually not very fast (an hour at least). As such, you aren’t going to charge at your local gas station the same way you get a fill up today.

    Most people use a level 2 charger, either at home or at work. This means it can sit for 8 hours to refuel. Many parking garages have this as well. Level 2 chargers deliver AC directly to the vehicle, meaning you don’t need a lot of infrastructure- just a 240v line and a billing system. This in turn means it’s cheap and relatively easy to install. Sometimes you’ll see these outside of Starbucks or a grocery store, but not especially often. You’ll get ~25 miles of range per hour charging using level 2. But even if you spend 2 hours drinking coffee, or buying groceries, you’ve only added 50 miles of range.

    This is where level 3 comes in. It requires some pretty significant equipment (which is part of why they’re always broken), because it has to convert AC into high voltage DC. It also has to chill the cables internally, otherwise they’d quickly overheat from the electricity passing through. But this takes up space that’s probably not really available in the lot.

    I am seeing fast chargers now being installed at travel centers/truck stops along major highways. It fits in nicely with regular stops on a road trip for food. I’m also seeing them being installed at most Walmarts, since that’s perfect for grocery shopping.

    Around here, that last group has been from Electrify America, which does NOT require an app. They have a standard credit card reader.











  • 90k sounds pretty standard for inexperienced (although maybe not first job) devs in general for most markets. Throw in factors like experience or skills in low supply and that changes pretty fast.

    I know that COBOL isn’t going away anytime soon, but most companies have seen the writing on the wall for a long time. Anywhere that COBOL can be replaced with something more modern, it’s already underway. Some places even have a surplus of COBOL devs because of it. But there are countless places where it can’t be replaced, at least not reasonably.

    The only way a COBOL dev is making $90k after 5 years is if there are very specific fringe benefits that make them not want to move along, or they are extremely naive about the market.


  • Can I ask if you’re a woman? The reason I bring that up is how completely dismissive multiple people are of your symptoms. Many women report having that specific reaction, but few men do.

    Even if it is “just a pinched nerve”, that’s not a small, ignorable issue. It needs proper medical treatment, or you can suffer greatly from it. Not just from nerve damage, but from whatever is causing the pinch.

    I won’t speak to what actual medical condition you might have, but your doctors should be helping you dig into that. You can research potential conditions to discuss with them. An engaged patient might spur them into action. It also helps to give them some ideas if you have something more rare (or not presenting in a common way)

    You also probably need to find new doctors. You mentioned that your PCP is on your side, which is a good start. Ask them for more recommendations, particularly for the reason that you are feeling ignored. Also, don’t dismiss the ones that are actually doing tests- I know it’s frustrating that they aren’t finding anything, but they are at least ruling out possibilities. At 21, you really should not have chronic/debilitating illness without a real diagnosis.

    (Side note: back surgery is more invasive and life-changing than you would think. Please don’t take that option lightly)


  • If you work for a large employer in the US, they probably won’t say anything useful, regardless. Most large companies (in the US) have a strict policy on references where they can only say things that are 100% true and provable in court. In practice, this means dates of employment, and possibly eligibility for rehire.

    There are 2 main reasons for this. The first is liability. The second is that there is simply no incentive for them to say anything more. Even if you were terrible, that’s the potential new employer’s problem. If you don’t live in the US, or you work at a smaller employer, adjust accordingly.

    But regardless, cleaning up your contact list when leaving won’t be seen as an insult. It’s the same as cleaning out your desk. Depending on which social network, you can also probably unfriend instead of block, and she can unfollow. If you want to keep her a professional reference, that social media connection is the wrong place to maintain that anyway.




  • There’s quite a lot to unpack there. I don’t think anyone likes the idea of a forced marriage, especially with someone you do not like. Your relationship with your parents is its own discussion, and sounds complicated. A simple answer would be a “beard”, but that creates its own web of lies.

    You’ve probably heard that love comes when you least expect it, which also doesn’t easily fit into your plans. Desperately seeking a partner is probably the least effective way to find one. You need to be able to have a relaxed approach, and let the chips fall where they may.

    As difficult as it is, I recommend trying to forget about meeting a potential wife, and instead try to meet people in general. Attend whatever group events are happening for whatever you’re interested in. Make (platonic) friends with people there. If the existing events don’t lead to friendships, branch into new ones. Ever wanted to cook? Take a cooking class. Does bowling sound like fun? Join a league.

    Eventually, one of these will lead to someone that’s interested. It may not be someone in the group, either. It could be a friend of a friend, or someone that you meet randomly. They see you having fun, and conversation can start from there.

    Also, learn how to carry a conversation. This is critical to opening the doors to a date, or date #2. There are a variety of books, videos, seminars, etc that can help




  • I’m not really sure where you’re going with this. What’s the alternative, just working yourself to death? You can date whenever you decide to date.

    Everyone’s life is different. Some people are married, have kids, and divorce before they can even have a legal drink. Others kind of slowly see a friendship morph into a long term relationship without them even noticing. Still others are happy to be free and unattached. Your story is your own, on your own timeline.

    If you have a more specific concern (which I think you do), such as how to meet people after 25, try posting that as its own question to the right audience. Just be careful to avoid the toxic areas, like incels.