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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • Risky joke - could get a laugh, could get you a meeting with HR without biscuits. It’s worth a punt though if you know your audience!

    If you make the joke a bit more explicit it tends to get a few more laughs, like “this one goes out to the tireless administrators, creative engineers, fantastic embeds… and Paul”.

    Only pull those stunts if you’re happy to get the piss taken out of you in return though, else you’ll look like a right tosser.


  • An old boss of mine started most group conversations with “right then you cunts…” and it was set the tone straight away. No bullshit, no egos, and no dragging on the conversation. Top fella actually, one of the best leaders I’ve had. We were his cunts, and he was our better-paid cunt.

    We had another bloke who was a proper cockney boy. If you were in his good books, you were a “geezer”, and if you’d ruined his day then you were a “slaaaaag”.

    I’m guilty of addressing my squad from my very junior managerial position as “alright my dudes”, which on the surface of it sounds very male-leaning, but I think since the 90s “dude” has become as gender-neutral as they come.

    That, or you could go full Karl Jobst and kick off with “hello you absolute legends …”



  • PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uktoMicroblog Memes@lemmy.worldYes.
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    13 days ago

    I was doing some poxy arse-covering COSHH awareness course in the office which sat on the entertainment scale somewhere between “chewing tinfoil” and “drowning”. The worst part of it was that there was no ticket or certification at the end of it, just an eight hour classroom input that absolved the job if we were to drink bleach or put cordite in the microwave or something.

    The trainer was pleasant enough, and signed our certificates, handed them out, and looked confused when I fed it straight into the shredder.

    Everything gets a certificate now. It wasn’t the trainer’s fault, but my in-tray and mailbox was already twice as full as it should have been without more pointless certificates to sift through.


  • Go somewhere public and call a girl a chick, see what happens 😂

    Seriously though, it’s not the word that’s the issue, it’s the labelling of someone based on their gender. I can’t speak for the bottom line as I don’t appear to be a woman, but I’d start getting fucked off if a generic term was used to address me when I had a perfectly good name.

    In the UK, an equivalent is “bird”. Equally likely to get you booted in the balls.



  • PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uktoMicroblog Memes@lemmy.worldI was there
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    17 days ago

    For most of them, it doesn’t matter. When the film is wound on, it would hit a ratchet stop to prevent you winding it beyond the next film cell anyway - which would only be released when the shutter button was operated, so you’d intuitively feel whether the film had been already wound forward or not.

    This thread reminds me of inexpensive package holidays as a child. It’s brilliant.









  • PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uktoComic Strips@lemmy.world[ColmsComics] Marathon
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    1 month ago

    I suppose everyone has their own preferences. If people reaaaally want to wear their Death Run 69420miler UltraPersistence shirt to a two-lap-round-the-village local 5k race then go wild I guess, ain’t nothing stopping you, just feels a bit tone deaf to me.

    As for wearing running shirts, I guess it depends. I have a few plain Brooks or New Balance shirts that I just enjoy wearing on warm days, or even a Disneyland Paris wicking shirt that’s just quite comfortable.

    That said, I personally purposefully don’t wear any of my “achievement” finisher shirts, I just hang them up above my gym mats in my garage - perhaps as a source of inspiration.

    Having a “favourite” running gear is awesome though. I’ve got a couple of shirts and pairs of shirts myself and it’s awesome having a set of gear that just works when you’re out on tarmac.



  • One of my verrrry minor bugbears is people who show up to 3k or 5k fun runs wearing gear promoting events well above the event’s level.

    Like “okay dude, that’s a nice Antarctica Marathon t-shirt but it’s not going to make you look cooler in the Buttfucknowheresville Gala 5k”, or “settle down Mrs London Marathon windbreaker over your Kona Ironman tech tee, you’re going up against someone with a cotton T-shirt from Asda and thick shorts that are going to build up enough charge to power a small African country”.

    Big respect to the effort they put in to earn the gear, but who are they honestly trying to impress?


  • It’s something of a necessity in the UK. A lot of high streets in town centres have on-street parking which are regulated just by the sizes of the vehicles currently there - there rarely any defined parking spaces on the roadside. Parallel parking is an essential skill to be able to park on the roadside in most major towns.

    That, or there’s outdoor car parks or multi-storey car parks at shopping centres or large event venues for those who prefer to find a marked-out space to drive into.

    That said, it’s nothing that can’t be practised with two cones and a plank of wood in a clearing somewhere, if you’re so inclined.