Yeah and what anyone thinks is a 32b is probably a 32E or something. Again with the wire circumference! A 32b is like a shot glass not a champagne glass. I can tell any guy I’m an A or B cup because that’s what they “look like”, and I agree.

I just started thinking of them as numbers all, no letters. So I am wearing 34+4. That’s not big, a +4 just means 4" difference underbust to bust, and some of that is lats, not boobs!

Ha ha ha ha, no. We do have savings so at least some cushion but I took years off when my kids were born, got a late start in college, started a career later, I would say I got the time when I needed it I guess. But not likely to have enough to take time off paid work again at the end.

Most people don’t get to decide, they get disabled or laid off & cannot find work and are forced into retirement. I’m in good shape and work in an office so probably can keep going as long as jobs last for me, and our life will be better if we keep working.

And it is more complicated even than that. I am a small busted woman and yet the best fit I can get is 34D. The 34 makes sense, underbust is 33. The D is what I measure but most have too much room. I still need that size because the circumference of the boobs fits in that wire; any smaller is too narrow.

I think bras need 3 measurements not 2. I need band 34, wire size D, cup capacity closer to C. And there are plenty of women in the opposite situation too, with more projection but smaller circumference.

So the non-standardized sizing is a workaround for that problem.

It’s ok to not have an opinion, and also ok to be ambivalent about something.

Your time and attention are not unlimited resources.

My kids work because they want money.

It is hard to find a job, even harder to get by without one; I do have some friends who have never been employed exactly, only hustling, working for themselves, with varying results. It’s possible but not probable.

I’m really sorry you are hurting so bad but we can use every sane person, if we give up things just get worse.

Editing to add: Two things can be true at once - the system is designed to funnel money to people who don’t need it and keep most of us struggling. It’s baked in, yes. But it’s also true that your own life is yours to live, and your own actions and thoughts what you have the most control of, and that you can make changes that improve your life.

No, no, and yes.

No, you is the singular; y’all is the plural.

All y’all works because you might say “All of you all”, I suppose.

This depends. Qi-Gon Jinn saying “concentrate on the moment, feel don’t think” oh my, and he does seem very dedicated and not so political.

But R2D2 gets it done. He is a great character every time he appears.

I compost (and save stuff for broth) and we have a sink disposal. It’s for the little bits of cooked food left on plates, are you composting those? The sink that has one is the least cloggy kitchen sink I’ve ever had, and as far as I understand they are pretty neutral in terms of waste stream.

Grease I agree shouldn’t go in there, that goes in the trash.

We have one, I like it. Never gross smelling, keeps the drains clear, seems to help the dishwasher run better.

I really love reading. When little, my mom said I read my way through the kids section in the library in like a year then moved on to the grownup side.

But then I had kids, and read magazines, short stories, and comics because I didn’t have uninterrupted time.

Now, when I do have a book I read it while husband is watching TV, we both have entertainment time that way. If we go to the beach I bring the e-reader, and read on days off - still a lot of comics as I’m still busy, and I love them, but more library books than when the kids were kids.

You don’t have to read books if you don’t enjoy them! Everyone is different. I read really fast and effortlessly (learned to at the same time I was learning to speak, it’s a language not a skill for me) so it’s a better pace for me personally than other forms of entertainment.

But of my kids, fewer than half read for pleasure. There are so many other ways to use your time that are just as good for you or better.

I will say it took me awhile to wrap my head around my kid being a son not a daughter. My concept of womanhood is quite broad, I really and truly did not see it coming, just thought she was dykey , for lack of a better word, still doesn’t seem distressed at all either but that may be because all the kids at school just accept kids are whatever gender they say, it’s no big deal to them, and siblings all immediately supportive. I didn’t lay my trouble adapting on them, it’s not his problem, it’s mine - just saying you have known a long time but she has not, she will adjust.

It’s ok here because I’m in a left leaning city, trans kid (my youngest) will be adult soon so can begin medical care whenever they can afford it; any daughters who are at all into men have IUDs, and in general everything has been ok, except for school but that kid is a little bit insulated because it’s an art school and they DGAF about the state saying they can’t use nicknames or preferred gender. So that is ok but the actual teaching in the academic classes has faltered, getting bad like when I went to school here, and it’s so disappointing after it had gotten so good for awhile.

Thanksgiving may be fractious because we have trans, communists, right wing, right-leaning, about half progressive leftist, one sort of prickly vegan (not prickly about us being omnivore, just more delicate sensibilities), it’s always very mixed and rowdy like that, tensions seem higher but OTOH my ex has become more reasonable.

Bracing for economic downturn, hopefully it lets some people get into houses, who cannot now. And hopefully can stay employed, pretty old so have made it through several recessions already.

What’s mmj? Medical weed? I like the cities here in Florida, but can understand, it’s not the right time to move here anyway, houses are overpriced right now and rent is too.

I changed my mind on marriage, it was never my dream but my now-husband really wanted us to be married, and it did help with his status at schools and stuff regarding my kids and mine with his kids, has streamlined a lot of stuff like signing up for benefits at work, I still think it’s kind of silly to license relationships, but it’s been a good experience overall.

I’m paid twice a month and they call it semi-monthly here though, husband is paid every two weeks and his company calls that biweekly.

I would never use bimonthly to mean twice a month, and haven’t heard anyone use it that way in real life; but the only thing that happens twice a month for me is payroll, so it hasn’t come up in conversation outside of that.

I guess I share in your outrage then.

Eh? Semi-monthly is twice a month. Bimonthly is every two months.

Semi-weekly is twice a week, biweekly is fortnightly, every two weeks.

They work the same.

We have plenty of trans people here, and one of the bigger LBGT communities. Obviously we also have rednecks in the boonies, like the rest of the country but plenty of openly queer people here, and a big scene.

Now, if you are boycotting because of the tone at the top, that makes sense, I support you. But you don’t need to worry about visiting if you want to, it’s safe in the cities.

Depends whether you want to just relax in the warm bathtub of the Gulf of Mexico, or be freezing in the water of the Pacific with its dramatic and beautiful waves.

When my kids were younger, before we had money, we had a “tree” each year that I’d put up after they went to bed. Always something different. One year lights in the coat rack, one year construction paper on the wall, one year my ex cut the top off one of the bushes outside and we sort of carved it into the cone shape, once an inflatable beach ball sort of tree, all sorts of different things but it was never an actual Christmas tree.

That stuff all sounds nice, I would just say to make sure you don’t burn yourself out or keep others from reciprocating your kindness.

I’m not that nice, though we do sometimes let homeless people stay, always have because we know some, I am happier when the workload at home is balanced between us, wouldn’t intervene in a fight because that’s too dangerous.

So I think if you are doing things to be selfless, like at the expense of yourself, watch out. As I noted in my original reply, you need to take care of yourself too, giving too much doesn’t work out better for anyone. You are a person too, just like the people you are trying to help.