You can’t pull off a sweet uppercut by punching down.

A closeted gay acquaintance that I knew from shared extracurricular activities, is now a judge who ran as a Republican because that’s the only party people will vote for in the redneck town we grew up in.

It’s the illusion of democracy. We are voting to fill these positions, but we might as well be picking ponies at the track. If they wear our favorite color and we like the sound of their name, then we vote them in.

And every year, the corporations parade their puppets about and we choose the shiniest one.

ALWAYS relevant.

Definitely

And they all have Chlamydia!

We consume information like Koalas consume eucalyptus.

We stuff our faces with toxic filler with little to no nutritional value, until we get sick and pass out. Just to wake up and do it all over again.

Areas with fluoride in the water have overwhelmingly better dental health than areas without.

I KNEW it was going to be that! 😂

WE STILL GOT YOUR FUCKING MONEY!!!

Wait. You aren’t?!?

A few months ago I switched from Boost to Voyager, because I kept having issues with mod features and notifications that wouldn’t go away.

I still think I like boost better overall, but I’m forgiving voyagers shortcomings because the boost issues were more annoying.

This is somehow the best AND the worst advice in the whole post.

I was in an altered state of mind while watching the Aquateen Hunger Force movie. I can barely remember anything about the movie, but I know I had a great time!

Let me go ask AI and copy the response for you.

I’d expect one to be about 6" tall, but I have yet to see one to confirm this.

Sounds like someone’s trying to fill the vacuum in the market.

They are, but the cans are full of tear gas.

The little one likes to boop me with her head when I’m getting dressed. And then I have her give her pets for a bit before I can finish.

Neither? This makes no sense at all.