and grits straight off Natalie Portman.

Go on…

No, that’s “preamble.” You’re thinking of the theological construct where god has already chosen those who will be saved.

Hm… actually are they incorporeal AND massless, or just incorporeal?

If just incorporeal, you’re right of course that initially after death they’d be falling back and forth, but over time through uneven gravity/curvature and through heat loss (stretching of unequal acceleration applied across the ghost essence, potential energy conversion, yadda), they should generally settle to the center after some time, unless there’s a maximum natural pressure of ghosts at whatever temperatures they have, so they may spread out somewhere within the crust if there are enough of them.

If they’re incorporeal AND massless, then I totally F’d up and they’d fire off at light speed as soon as they shed their mortal coil.

That’s called General Relativity and Reference Frames.

Start watching PBS Spacetime if you actually want to get into it.

You’re also entirely missing the point of the comment that was a joke entirely re-explaining the “reason” for ghosts ending up at the center of the Earth, which is implied by the original comment.

Mass distorts spacetime, which to an outside observer appears to change the direction light travels. The light travels in a straight line.

Gravity doesn’t alter the particle’s trajectory (or ours, for that matter). The warping of spacetime from Earth’s mass causes our movement through space to accelerate “down” at ~9.8 m/s^2

So the ghosts are in the center of the Earth, in nearly literal hell.

Great, I’m the jerk that shows up a few years afterward, inspecting the errant arm and elephant trunk wondering what the actual F the original programmer was thinking.

Then I cut off the trunk and slap a dog nose on it because I hate VB.

WHAT HAVE I BECOME!?

Normalize and index your damn drawers or you’re deadlocked!

Reminds me of how Force Fiction started in the middle of the story, too.

“Say ‘it’s not fair’ again, I dare you! I double-dare you, banthafucker! Say ‘it’s not fair’ one more goddamn time!” - Master Jules Windu

“Software engineers aren’t real engineers because they don’t work on physical engines.”

-An absolute dumbass telling me this to my face years ago while literally designing a software solution for (hardware) engineers on a manufacturing line