Rank for sure. Loud farts are funny. Rank are disturbing.

Cranberry juice. It has antioxidants!

That soap does what it’s told or it gets the hose again.

Haha! Truth. Hard, sad, truth.

I’d finally donate to Wikipedia. And NPR. So much so that both of them won’t have to ever ask me for money ever again.

Not quite mind control, but I’d like the ability to blast common sense into morons minds by looking at them. Like a psychic mind dart that says, “maybe this line has a purpose and I should get in queue instead of trying to force my way in from the outside” or “maybe I should listen to the sign that says ‘don’t put your kid on a railing above tiger enclosure.’”

Completely out and I had RIF for at least eleven years. They got rid of a part of me; I don’t want shit to do with the site anymore. I’d also be out of Facebook if it weren’t for messenger. I look to Lemmy for updates on the dumpster fire that is Reddit now.

Your metaphor reminded me of killing vampires in Skyrim and it made me smile as I also feel a deep sorrow from the fact all major companies now are racing to the bottom while leaving their skidmarks on everything I used to love.

One night at bedtime, I put my daughter to bed and then crawled into bed by my wife and left our bedroom door open to hear if she needed anything in the night or so she could come sleep by us if she got scared. An hour or so passes and my daughter crawls in by us and I’m so tired I just leave the door open (normally I close and lock it if we’re all in there). A few hours pass and I hear what I thought was my kid walking down the hallway and stopping by the side of my bed and then I realize she is already in bed by us.

Then I hear a scraping noise on our blanket and I try to open my eyes and see what’s going on. I have a hard time and realize I must be having sleep paralysis and that I need to wake myself up somehow, but before I can I see a short silhouette of a person dragging a kitchen knife from our knife drawer over the blanket above my legs. The silhouette is just pure black I cannot make out any features and I’m done seeing this shit so I attempt to toss around and make noise so my wife could wake me. I wake up and my wife is fully awake and our daughter is awake and crying about a grumpy face man scaring her in her sleep.

The next day after my wife gets home from work I discuss what I saw and she gets the chills and tells me the reason she was awake to hear me was because she saw the exact same thing standing by her side of the bed and using the lights from her phone and watch chargers like its eyes. We compared our specifics from what we saw in our sleep more and the encounters were identical. I’ve told this online before and mouth breathers just chalk it up to sleep paralysis and nothing more and I normally would too, but the fact the three of us had a shared nightmare of the same shit and all woke up at the same time is what scares me. I checked our house for gas leaks and carbon monoxide and nothing like that was found.

Auto correct is going to be hilarious and awkward on July 1st.

“Let’s go Brandon!” Bumper stickers.

I feel like Reddit is a big basket of candy and goodies and I’m just sitting here staring at it telling myself not to touch. I’ve spent the time away by listening to podcasts and spending more time outside gardening and reading actual books and not a screen. It’s really rewarding and freeing, but I miss interacting with a community so I’m glad to have been directed to Lemmy.