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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: August 16th, 2023

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  • I’m female and bi and it is definitely noticeable when someone is staring at my chest and it is very uncomfortable. When I was younger there were certain guys that rarely looked me in my face and were just looking at my chest the whole time. I asked other girls about it and they agreed they too felt them gazing at their chests and it was really uncomfortable and off-putting for them as well. If you wanna help then tell them discreetly to tighten their bra straps. Otherwise I don’t find it acceptable to stare at a woman’s chest. A glance maybe but you should really be looking at their faces. People are not meat or eye candy, don’t objectify them, just remember the person they are inside. There may be women ok with it and like flaunting it but that’s not been my personal experience.



  • This is definitely a con of Lemmy for me. I like to be more privacy focused but Lemmy gives you 0 privacy on whatever you do on the website. Anyone who wants more privacy on Lemmy is told you have no right to privacy, don’t expect any privacy, everything you do is public on the internet, etc. A massive boner killer for me. I think basic things like deleting your own post or comments should actually get removed from all servers, PMs should not be viewable by anyone except the recipients, and what you vote on or subscribe to should be private. Lemmy doesn’t sell your data but that’s because anyone can take the data for free. I thought this stuff was because Lemmy is still new and will get to it eventually but the push back seems to say this was a choice or is not broken. I ended up exploring different social media alternatives but I like the style of Lemmy better since it is more reddit-like with an active user base plus has different android clients. I don’t like kbin because it shows who upvoted or downvoted something to everyone - it’s not accountability when it erodes your privacy.

    I used to comment on Lemmy more but then I ran into this problem when juggling multiple accounts, Liftoff sucks ass at letting you know which account you are logged into (I use Summit now and it is better at it) so I ended up getting my accounts’ wires crossed when I thought using the drop down on your accounts changed your account but no you have to go to manage instances to switch which was not intuitive. I ended up abandoning the accounts when I couldn’t figure out how to actually delete the post from the server.

    Edit: man I wish I saw this sooner, might be time for me to either stop posting again or look somewhere else.