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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 12th, 2023

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  • Unfortunately I feel this conversation has become deadlocked for a number of reasons.

    You have clearly dismissed a fellow person with a valid observation and left no room for open discussion. When given the opportunity to express why you do not agree, you continue to be dismissive.

    You have ignored the topics that has been brought up and are being discussed. In this case emotional intelligence, particularly among men.

    You have not made an attempt to clearly connect your various points into a cohesive argument.

    You have not expressed what you have studied in your own words. To express ideas in your own words would show the rest of us how you perceive and understand a topic. This would be a great base for having a meaningful conversation.

    Lastly, you have done nothing but blindly praise an individual on a podcast. If the words in your initial post are true, we should never worship anyone.

    Taking a step back away from everyone and everything to think of why we react to other peoples words may help us to understand ourselves better. And that’s a good thing.

    At this point I am done. As a fellow individual with ADHD (and Autism), I wish you the best on your mental health journey and I hope you approach it with an open heart and open mind. Thank you for giving me a new perspective for me to think about and hopefully understand in the future.


  • In order to engage you in meaningful discussion, I need to understand your thoughts and perspectives more from your own words.

    Why do you not trust the personal view of another lemmy user? We are on a social platform made for discussing a variety of topics and we will always encounter different views. Hopefully this leads to exploring and expanding our own views on the topics we bring up.

    I would also like to stay on the topic of men and emotional intelligence which was brought up by LoreleiSankTheShip. I currently do not see how neurodivergence and generational workforces fit into this discussion unless you can clearly state the connections for me.

    I do agree with you that the importance of mental health and it’s approaches are not very well explained. However, empathy carries a lot of weight in the discussion of mental health and should not be undermined or under valued.

    Lastly, it’s easy to link a video of an expert, but experts are human and can fall for personal biases too. If you can explain to me your interpretation of what this expert is saying, we can begin to have a thorough discussion. Otherwise, I fear we may be deadlocked and nothing more will come of this.

    I did watch your recommended clip and am still struggling to understand your view point.


  • People in general can learn something from stoicism. From a philosophical standpoint it can be a good place to provide tools for improving yourself from within. However, I also find it hard to accept that men are inherently emotionally weaker than women for many of the reasons mentioned by LoreleiSankTheShip.

    Modern societies extert incredible pressure on people to conform to unreasonable expectations which greatly repress individuality. These pressures start early and are persistent. Emotionally intelligent men exist and have always existed. I could easily believe many of these men couldn’t even begin to define or explain stoicism. Their emotional intelligence could have been learned from family, friends, partners or community.

    A broad and over generalized expectation of modern men are that they be strong and courageous. That they act as independent individuals to care for their family or community. Traits which could be mistaken for a surface level of stoicism.

    What we are seeing today in is very much a lack of emotional intelligence. There is a very noticeable deficiency in emotional intelligence in men when compared to women. Unable to reflect inwards about their motivations and outward actions. Unable to empathetically understand how their actions affect those around them. Unable to to identity, verbalize or express the emotions which are happening within them. As a result, men don’t have the proper understanding of themselves to begin the process of improving themselves. Trans men offer a unique insight into this as they have had the opportunity to experience two worlds of gender expectations.

    But humans are social animals. Many mammals exhibit social needs. We can look to our closest friends such as cats and dogs and see how true that is. We’ve reached a point where our social communities are fragmented and broken. The ideal of a strong man is heavily expected to replace that missing sense of community.

    It’s become and issue so deep and entangled that it’s hard to know where to even begin. I wish there was a simple -ism to unravel this mess but a person is complex. Eight billion people with eight billion unique perspectives is a level of complexity we just don’t know how to even comprehend or manage.

    We can start by teaching emotional understanding from within, by being good examples, by creating and maintaining communities or by calling out bad behavior. Unfortunately, these actions can be attacked. It’s an uphill battle and the hill is looking very steep.


  • I had been involved with the labour board over a wrongful termination dispute. I made complaints about about an abusive workplace and was shitcanned as a result.

    During the final settlement where the lawyers were fighting over what my settlement payment would be, my lawyer and I had a bit of a discussion revolving around mental health.

    She suggested I should consider a move into mental health services as I was essentially writing off continuing my trade apprenticeship by this point. She noted that I am a good listener and have a very clear understanding of mental health. She even offered to get me in contact with those in the mental health field.

    It’s been heavily on my mind to go down that path but a part of me is intimidated. I’ve been able to help a few close friends who all experienced some heavy mental issues over the past couple years but these are people who I’ve become close to and am able to help them through a deep understanding of them.

    I tend to get attached to people easily and I’m not sure how I’ll be able to separate work thoughts from my own thoughts meant for my own time. What heavy burdens will make it home with me?

    Would I be good at working in such a field? According to my lawyer and those closest to me, I’d be great. But what am I going to do about my own mental health if I follow that path path? I can barely handle children and I’m the biggest kid in my own life. It’s already a monumental effort to keep myself fed and not spontaneously running into traffic.




  • After playing Battlefield 3 and feeling an indescribable emptyness for AAA games, I turned to indie developers. The desire for more profits can really suck the uniqueness and character from a game when it’s designed for accessibility to as many people as possible.

    Bonus points if the game supports modding. It’s a great way to extend the life of a game as well. Some of my first online gaming memories are from Quake and it’s modding scene. Even Sven Co-op is still developing their mod for Half-Life to this very year.

    Games like that seem to have a bit more passion behind it which gives it a bit more charm. It’s been a bit sad watching old titles milked dry throughout the years in the name of the mighty dollar. Unfortunately the struggle now is finding those gems in a sea of mediocrity as gaming became more mainstream.