It’s an avocato.

They’re out there but it’s been hard to document their existence since they blend in so well with their environment. This natural camouflage is a double-edged sword, however: they may be able to avoid getting eaten by predators but it also makes reproduction particularly challenging since they have a hard time finding one another to do it like the Discovery channel.

Even when a potential breeding pair are able to meet up, their coupling is far from guaranteed due to the abundance of other green orifices in their usual habitats. Grass-covered mole tunnels, mossy logs with holes in them and bee nests in leafy trees have all been accidental natural fleshlights for these poor creatures. Like they say, it’s not easy being green.

A little surprised but I know we don’t have a monopoly on dipshittery here in the land of pickup trucks with pink rubber scrotums flapping in the wind. Just seems that way sometimes.

They’ve got a tiny scrap of power and by god, they intend to use it! More enjoyable than going to therapy for the abuse they suffered as children.

Some girl reported me (a boy) for apparently having a mascara. Our teacher then searched my bag, as if it was a grenade.

Which of the former(?) Confederate states did this happen in? Sounds like a grenade might have been okay with them if you’d had one, they’re manly enough.

Sounds like you did the right thing. Advocates for anti-truth don’t deserve to be treated nicely.

Also adopt UTC as global time while we’re improving things. No more messing around with all those different time zones, one is enough.

This makes sense if your jalopy is a missile.

It might be if it had to pay higher insurance rates afterward.

Give the deer a bright orange glow and then jam some deer genes into their predators so they have a harder time seeing that color. Close the loop by taking a selection of those predators’ features and distributing them at random in the glowing fish population.

Become a sovereign citizen (or at least play one for your marketing material) and through the power of belief in bullshit, you can sell courses on trading social security benefits to credulous morons.

LT signed up for a bodypaint class thinking it was for camouflage techniques.

The channel this video is from can be a useful resource.

Search around for “scambaiting”, there are people doing similar things ranging from tying up (figuratively, unfortunately) telephone scammers for hours with pointless conversations to more tech-based efforts. Kitboga on YouTube is a good place to start, he usually just sits on the phone with scammers and takes them through some wild scenarios but has some videos showing tests of an automated system that uses an LLM to interpret and respond.

…greatly reduce, even revert, aging.

There’s a case to be made that it does stop its consumer from aging much further if applied correctly.

Or a stomach full of polar bear liver.

It’s just a matter of perspective. Vitamin A overdose causes your skeleton, muscles and (generally speaking) internal organs to be ejected from your skin sack.

…like the onion

If you ordered it off Wish from a shady Moscow merchant.

Easy there, Chicken Little, the sky isn’t falling. That was just an acorn.