I think even if following the steps exactly there could still be burns. “a few minutes” is ambiguous and could be technically satisfied after just 3 minutes.

Instead you are a choose-your-own-adventure author

What is a mood pillow?

I really can’t tell if this is satire? It has to be, right?

Where do fungi fit in?

Nobody on the internet would misrepresent the truth

What would you do differently? So I can benefit from your hindsight.

That is a pretty good way to look at it.

It records only when using the app btw