This is why you tell them sometimes the good result on a low roll.

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I miss headphone jack so bad.

I have to buy two pairs just to go through the day.

They cost twice as much for same audio quality.

You can’t split audio with someone else.

Price and battery don’t make them most convenient thing to throw in bag, glove compartment to have for a rainy day.

three things battery to keep track of.

Because I like to throw situations at players and sit back and watch them fumble the execution and yet always come out on top.

I like the middle ground and want a baselin roleplay. So I know what you trying to do, because you appalling to a bandits honor may not work as well as it would with a knight.

The dice result and the passive persuasion compensate for your real life skill or lack.

My game is often based on my experience in corporateworld and my trauma there.

So like me having two meetings last weeks and having three casual discussion regarding same problem. Where we said almost word for word same thing and came to same conclusion.

They will hear the boss plan, and same plan next door. Because I am sure my players would by the third door complete misunderstand the plan making it wonderful when they look at their notes oh that was the plan.

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As a fellow dm this always makes me so sad so many experiences this.

For them it is their fantasy same as someone playing a wizard could be casting spells. But yet we never see dm running every monster having antimagic field or legendary resistance.

Let them feel good and invincible! Let tanks be tanks!

If you want dm here is two tips. 1. Be honest that you lack experience. There is few dm compare to how many players there is that wants to play. That there is tons of understanding and patience as they are just happy to finally play.

If you really unsure try find dms that wants to play. They often know how “difficult” it is in the start out and often really starved on being a player and dying to play.

Go for one shots like The Lost Mine of Phandelver. Great prewritten adventure that takes like 4 sessions(you could go like one part if you really unsure). If it is awful then you never have to see them after that.

If it went okay you can do same one again and this time it will go much better.

If you loved it and you group you can often continue. If you absolutely hated it then you never have to dm again but now you know that.

I really like your text but I just want to offer different view on the guards-are-not-competent paradox of games but on steroids.

Among the adventurers there is a sea of dead people trying to be something. But forgotten and killed by the most pathetic of monsters.

Why not take a cosy job guarding city just taking care of what really needs taken care of?

You have a job, home and you get live in end of the day.

Gigantic rats in basement of the local bar? Why risk your life when you can pay for some smucks to risk their life.

Their is underground cult? Tell the barman to pass around rumors and hope someone else wants investigate.

Instead stand around waving your fancy weapons and trinkets bought from nearby magic shop (probably just general store where heroes dumps their trash).