Ah Manage Engine. Lots of full featured products that are roughly 75% complete.

The kind of place where “backups” means playing Russian Roulette with one set of old ass tapes, if you’re lucky.

"And on the third day, there was a wedding in Cana. Jesus’ mother was there. When the wine was drunk, Jesus’ mother said to him, ‘We’re out of wine.’ ‘Bruh… That’s a big yikes. But why do I care?’, replied Jesus.

Jesus mother instructed the servants, ‘you just do whatever he tells you no matter how stupid it sounds.’ Jesus sighed and turned to the servants saying, ’ Okay. You see those jars? Nope. Not that one. The big ones. Yeah. Those big ones over there. Go fill them up with water. All the way up. Then take some of the water and give it to the host."

The servants were more than a little skeptical but shrugged and did as they were told. When the host of the wedding feast tasted the water, it had become wine. And the host exclaimed, “Damn! That is some good shit. Where did you get that from?” And the servants were amazed because they knew from where the wine came.

And the servants implored Jesus, 'Do it again! No, wait. Can you make something stronger this time?"

– The Gospel According to [Skibidi] John

Weeee weeooooo weeeoooo eeeee wahhh tick tick tick tick

That’s still a thing although it’s a dated practice and I only ever see it in very specific formal situations (wedding invites, obituaries, etc.)

My [second] wife is the coolest person ever and my best friend. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. She came into my life when I wasn’t even looking.

My first wife was a horrible person who convinced me that I was better off being single. I was perfectly content with that. It is much better to be alone than to be with someone who fills your life with misery.

If you’re reading the OP and feeling sad about your own circumstances, I totally get it because I’ve been there. Bad relationships or the breakdown of a relationship are really hard. You can get through it. Remember to take care of yourself. Prioritize spending time on things that bring you joy. Find someone to talk to, even if it’s just some random guy on the Internet. And know that it absolutely can get better.

Forgot “Pasting it into a Word document”.

The best thing about MongoDB is that you can stop using it completely and switch to PostgreSQL, which will happily accept all the horrible JSON data you can cram into it.

“…If there’s a problem writing your data, you’re fucked. Does that sound like a good design to you?”

“If that’s what they need to do to get those kick-ass benchmarks, then it’s a great design.”

Oh God. I am laughing so hard watching this.

Unfortunately, the current penalties are insufficient.

I wear a men’s 14. That’s bad enough.

The hell I can’t.

“Prompt Engineering”: AKA explaining to Chat GPT why it’s wrong a dozen times before it spits out a useable (but still not completely correct) answer.

Reviewing large PR’s is hard. Breaking apart large PR’s that are all related changes into smaller PR’s is also hard.

If I submit a big one, I usually leave notes in the description explaining where the “core” changes are and what they are trying to accomplish. The goal being to give the reviewers a good starting point.

I also like to unit test the shit out of my code which helps a lot. The main issue there is getting management to embrace unit tests. Unit tests often double the effort up front but save tons of time in the long run. We’re going to spend the time one way or the other. Better to do it up front when it’s “cheaper” because charging it to the tech debt credit card racks up lots of expensive interest.

Ah, I see you’ve met the product owner.

Fancy title for the developer that gets yelled at when the CI pipeline is broken. Also a good chance they are the one that broke it.

At a former job, there was one – and only one – lady in customer service who would actually reboot and do all the basic troubleshooting steps before calling IT. If we heard from her, we knew something was legitimately broken. Oddly enough, I’m married to her now. Best decision I ever made.

No, there’s the original trilogy, the prequels, and the “Oh, it was Palpatine the whole time. …again. How original.”

I’m a [primarily] C# turned JavaScript dev. I miss C#.