• 1 Post
  • 14 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: July 1st, 2023

help-circle


  • I wish there were better book trailers. Part of it is we get more picky about our time and know what we do and don’t like. But sometimes this leads to a certain prejudice that doesn’t let us explore something we otherwise would’ve stumbled onto.

    For me with young kids, work, and generally limited time audiobooks are a compromise that allows me to combine with another activity, like cleaning or running.

    Funny I’m seeing this post, though, as I placed aside 2 books that were gifted to me in hopes to read a physical book (but how.)


  • It’s hard to say. A combination of factors. Knowing them all really well, sincerely loving them and wishing to see the best of them all. Trying to act as a sort of translator for incessant miscommunications between them… As though people are operating on different frequencies. Addressing secondary factors that were contributing to stress or altered mental states… Also just a lot of time. These things can’t be rushed and resolution probably couldn’t have ever happened under a quicker timeline than 2-3 years with baby-steps and leaps of faith at the same time. It’s very delicate and you’re right there are unhealthy ways that force people back into things they were uncomfortable with. I made an effort to avoid that. I bore witness to my older sister going through this when my parents separated in earlier years and I learned a lot about how people argue and in different ways and what they’re really after. Long discussions, 6-8 hours long for weeks on end. Standing up to my parents at different times. I probably stopped my dad’s suicide or worse and I stopped my mom from her own downward spiral of depression.

    Anyways, yeah those were hard times. Combine with my wife being pregnant with our first born and raising a newborn during this time, during covid, while we both work at hospitals — while my parents were living under our roof — was the extra cherry on top lol… I think we all came out better in the end, though.

    Both my wife and I come from divorced parents and make a concerted effort to never do that kind of shit and to never let our children suffer from that. I’m very fortunate in that respect as well.


  • A specific day? I’m not sure. But I helped put my family back together after an absolutely brutal year that went straight into the pandemic. I brought my divorced parents back together. Not together-together, but they’re friends and we all hang out together. I care for my mom with my wife and sister’s help; got her much healthier and off alcohol. I care for my dad and got him independent. I helped mend their relationship. I mended my relationship with my brother who I didn’t speak to for years in lieu of this fallout and after battling it out with literally hundreds of thousands of words back and forth in letters.

    I have one last puzzle to solve. In time, hopefully…

    I’ve been so happy and grateful to spend time with my family largely as a whole again. To see my parents brighten up so much while playing with their grandkids is something I’ll always have as a core memory. Takes me back to my own childhood, too.

    When asked if I’m better off now than I was 4 years ago, I can’t answer more instantly and definitely yes. I never want to go back to those terrible years, where covid was the least of my issues. Sure there is a lot of chaos in the world right now and this election is making me anxious, but I know my kids and family are much better off than what people are dealing with elsewhere in the world right now and I refuse to take that for granted.

    So I guess I’m expressing a more slow burn of contentment.