Ja, das ist immer doof. Je jünger man ist, desto schwieriger ist das für beide Partner und daher kommt auch diese Idee, dass man sowas vielleicht besser lässt.

Aber man kann’s auch trotzdem machen und danke einfach glücklich sein. Einfach ist hier sehr relativ, weil Lebenserfahrung auch Erfahrung im Streiten ist und es manchmal (und ich spreche aus Erfahrung) echt schwer ist, jemanden seine eigenen Fehler machen zu lassen.

Ohne jede Menge gegenseitigen Respekt, viel Geduld und vor allen Dingen die Fähigkeit los zu lassen, wird das schwierig. Und mit 20 machst du halt Fehler und sagst blöde Dinge, die mit 33 sofort auffallen. “Das wächst sich aus” ist nicht gerade die ideale Basis für Beziehungen.

Ich schreibe das nicht, um dir da reinzureden, sondern weil ich inzwischen an einem Punkt bin, wo es bei uns klappt mit etwa 10 Jahren dazwischen. Viel Glück!

Immerhin noch Haufen, kein Fluss. Das hätte auch anders laufen können …

Nur für den Fall, dass es irgendwann doch einfach furchtbar ist:

Work-Life-Balance gibt’s auch mit wunderbaren links-grünen Kollegen. Das ist keine entweder/oder-Situation.

Bis dahin: Viel Erfolg und offene Ohren!

Hey, sorry it took me so long to respond.

I mostly meant the whole rejection/people being mean about it thing.

I get where you’re at, I’m 40ish and had the same problems a few years ago. Please don’t try where they work, that’s not cool, but other than that … why not, as long as a no is cool.

I used bumble at the time but ultimately the person I’m with now was someone I already knew. I don’t believe in apps, but it’s a way to get a feel for someone else, filtering out anyone who doesn’t want to meet someone at all.

I think meeting through hobbies (I think library or bookstore are kinda okay, particularly if you have a recommendation for the book they’re looking at) is the way to get to know someone, but whatever you try, I wish you good luck!

Since attractive just refers to outer features, if you’re interested only physically, that’s fine. If you want a relationship, pick something that describes your person of choice better or encompasses more features.

“I think you’re amazing, would you like to grab a coffee/dinner with me sometime?” would probably work.

If you choose to be this direct, make it clear you don’t need an immediate response. The other party didn’t have any time to prepare for this, so they may actually need to think about you in this way first of all. This may be the hardest part, because you will not know if you’ll get a reply (depends on maturity and courage). You could ask them again once, but then I’d drop it and just assume it’s a no, otherwise you may come across as pushy.

The reason most people don’t do this is, that they’re scared to be turned down or ridiculed (teenagers are assholes). I think from 30 onwards it gets a lot clearer and easier.

Good luck!

Cute used to describe a person? May work out in some cases, but in most it really will not for various reasons. She may feel you’re infantilizing her, you don’t find her appealing as a woman or appealing for the wrong reasons, you belittle her …

As many wrote, used to describe her choices it’s perfectly fine though.

If you’re looking for a way to express how this person makes you feel - for example a continuous stream of “awwwww” may be expressed by calling someone cute - rather describe your feeling: “I could fawn over you all day.” Ideally you also explain why, so it’s clear where this is coming from: “The way you dress is a perfect compliment to your outgoing personality. I really enjoy just watching you exist.”

Depending on who you want to be to this person and how far along on that road you are, my examples may work or be entirely out of question.