Commas

Wir haben genau den richtigen Kanzler zur richtigen Zeit. Er gleicht die extremen Hitzewellen durch seine soziale Kälte aus.

Allegedly.

A who-needs-the-most-time-to-steal-my-soul competition.

Man, Clark Kent and his stupid “disguise” can F right off.

If you like marriages so much, then WHY DON’T YOU MARRY EM???

The version of this that I especially loathe is when they write the character like he’s crushed by insecurities but gets instantly hot and confident once he takes the glasses off.

Jello in any type of liquid container is a shot if you’re brave enough.

Ah, eine Farbpalette für unsichere Männer, die auch “Farbe” aber nicht so viel Farbe wollen, dass ihre genauso unsicheren Kumpels sie für homosexuell halten.

Könnte halt die utility einer Penispumpe sein, dann passt es ganz gut.

your family member (…) not your kid

Aight, yeah, that’s such a helpful and unambiguous distinction. For the last couple of years, I was confused whether my cat is my biological child and not just some creature I took into my home that’s utterly dependent on me. I was wondering why he was doing so poorly in school and thought he had the ADHD, but that clarifies it. Thanks for this profound insight, I now only have to find out if the cat is maybe my brother or cousin, which I guess is still possible.

Careful, he’s a hero!

Space on the husband is limited.

The only thing tastier than pineapple pizza is the juicy hate of all the food cops out there.

Meanwhile, Alexander the Great: You’ll be me lol

The “Ain’t no food left in my godforsaken bowl” blues.

That’s normally what the B in CBT is for. The therapist is supposed to work out some strategies with you that make you feel like shit less, a behavioral repertoire that you can use on your own and that is independent from the cognitive part. I personally found this the hardest thing to do in CBT, and it was probably the thing that helped me the most long term (because let’s face it: no amount of therapy will make me an all-sunshine glass-half-full kinda guy, and really that’s okay).

Laut Bekannten ist es wohl landschaftlich nicht so der Brüller.

Q