volvoxvsmarla

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 6th, 2023

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  • Funnily enough, I feel like in most social situations people would think I was insane or overfocused on them if I kept steady eye contact - which I easily could. But I consciously decide to let my eyes wander every now and then to let them feel less pressure. Because honestly I doubt that the cashier or my daughter’s kindergarten teacher wants me to think that I talk to them like they are the only people in the room and I am 100% focused on them. I especially prefer looking “to the side” when I listen because I am way too scared for people to think I am a maniac who wants to make them my whole world.




  • I wasn’t the most popular growing up and I remember becoming popular and developing a larger friends group in late high school. Above all, I remember going out for pizza when I was 17. At home, we always shared a small (frozen or delivery or restaurant) pizza - me, my sister, and my mom. Eating pizza meant having a slice or two for dinner (with salad, there was always salad). So this also always meant prior discussions on the toppings. Therefore, going out with new friends, I was highly confused why no one was really engaging in my question about what kind of toppings they want, everyone was just stating what they want and gonna get and I was hella confused. When it occurred to me that everyone was going to order a whole pizza for themselves I couldn’t believe it. I don’t remember what happened next, I only remember the horrible realization that everyone is going to buy a pizza and eat this food, that to me was absolutely meant to be shared, by themselves like psychopaths, a whole family meal, for each person. And that this was the normal way to do it. As I said, I don’t know what happened next, but I don’t really like pizza to this day - maybe something happened that day, I don’t know.

    Thank God I found a spouse who likes to share a small pizza and can’t have more than 2-3 slices tops either.














  • I have someone in my life who chose to find all of these things “meh”. One by one. Having recorded and enjoyed playing guitar for years, they deleted all of their music and decided to not play guitar anymore. Being into third wave coffee, they now stopped drinking it because it is pointless. Biking (or any kind of physical activity or being outside) has stopped. The introvert who was already hardly seeing anyone outside of home now leaves home even less and doesn’t want to meet any people. Anything that’s nice is met with a “meh”. All energy and devotion left go into buddhism, reading about it and meditating, which is a part of their life that is growing more and more. And I am not sure what to do. I would like them to get accessed for depression, but the answer I get is always “what for?”, because they would only prescribe antidepressants. Why would therapy work. I get that they are happy and content and that everything comes from the inside and not from outside things. But it feels like everything around this person is disappearing, nothing has meaning or value, so why bother. I’m really not sure what to do. Am I overreacting? Is this what buddhism makes you like? Just a zombie who finds everything meh because it doesn’t matter?