It’s okay, it happens to all guys at that age

Superintendent! Uhh, I was just uh stretching my USB cable on the windowsill!

buys shit

violently orgasms

“yo shiny shit, who’s the baddest hoe around? aw yeah”

“and I’ll do it again” -cat

“someday, I want to go to the moon!”

“why wait?” punts

Nobody? Nobody? Fine.

…

THAT’S A LOT OF DAMAGE!

“but first, a word from our sponsor”

(get SponsorBlock too)

“p-please, shit in my mouth, daddy g” -abp

It used to be the defacto extension, everyone used it. I remember when the dev sold out. I get it, money can be exchanged for goods and services, but now they can’t show their face in many places as they are ‘the lowlife piece of shit who sold out abp’ and that’s basically a death sentence in tech hub places.

Oh hell no. You know how braindead most people are at something relatively simple like driving a car, managing finances, or logical decision making? And then you want to roll the dice and let potentially ‘the average’ citizen to partake in government? This also means you have to be fine with the dumbest motherfucker you have ever come across, making policy decisions.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell naw. Fuck, we have some dense pieces of shit in govt/politics here in the states, but I know that we can do way, way, way fucking worse. Hell. No.

Are we talking silky-smooth succulent hands, or those of a construction worker who doesn’t buy 30 grit sandpaper because he always carries his own brand?

personal rant

“we’ve tried nothing, and we are all out of ideas” comes to mind

I had a relative who was a smoker; I’d visit and they would try to keep it out of sight, but everyone knew. As the years went on, it became more and more of a problem (financially and health), and many tried to push back and help, support, them. Fought like a child at every step. Fucking developed copd and still didn’t seem to give a fuck, wheezing and struggling with each breath, until just a couple of years before they died; when it was way too god-damn late to do shit about it.

I don’t want to sound like a heartless bastard, but some stupid fucks just won’t listen to any reason, and so they need to feel the consequences of their actions. This person would likely still be alive and in decent health, even years later, if they stopped being so fucking defensive/lying/deflective about it.

I get yeah it’s hard - I’m a fucking stroke ‘survivor’ who is suffering every day I’m alive, incapable of doing basic tasks and body control, stuck in the prison that is my own malfunctioned body and brain, so don’t go crying to me about how hard it is to do things - but you know what’s harder? Waking up in the morning when you’re dead.

buries like 20 cigarettes

sprays water on the mound

by spring I’ll be rolling in the dough!

No silly, it’s your lungs and heart, not your ears

This guy knows how to finance

Pfft, alpha, so weak. Out of my way, I’m the release candidate.

Burn it down, we are starting from the beginning…

“okay, the camera is rolling, now whip out your dong and fuck that TV like it’s your mother’s sister!”

15 seconds later

“damn, how do you even… in the hdmi… it comes back out of the coax?! could you teach me how to do that?”

and from that day forward, it was a duo of TV mounters

(rant in general, not directed at you)

Straight, cis people: “you can do one thing, isn’t that enough? why do you have to be in the spotlight all the time?”

Me, standing with my trans+enby friends, after being fired for who we fuck and what we look like, and regularly treated like dogshit in public: “…”

Marriage is a decent start, but especially bullshit like “right to work” states where employers can sack you for literally anything, and LGBT not being a universally protected thing, is shit. Yeah yeah “sex” is by law but I direct you to the first half of that sentence, and you’ll see the issue. Progress, yeah, but being the solution to our many issues, marriage is just a piece of the pie.

Hell, my best friend had to go through some gymnastic-bureaucratic bullshit because the state they live(d) in was putting up unnecessary requirements just to change their sex on their drivers license. This was after months of them seeing a therapist, hrt, physical changes, etc - but still wasn’t good enough for the state. So it was easier to get their transition accepted via their birth state (I think by altering the birth record? Not totally sure, I didn’t want to pry), where they had much more sane requirements, and then come back to the state they live(d) in with a ‘see here bitch, now change my shit’. Took a month or so all-told, but they got it done.

Plus things like raising a family (adoption especially), being passed up for employment or promotions, denied housing… but we have marriage, so it’s all good, right?

Me, LGBT: hahahahaha… oh you were serious? HAHAHAHAHA no.