Meta Platforms. X Corp. tell me those aren’t straight from a strangely prescient cyberpunk classic
Don’t forget Truth Social. Straight out of ministry of truth.
And Taco Bell already exists so there’s that
Especially when their main selling point is that they don’t do fact checking.
Don’t forget the conglomerate names:
Microsoft-Activision-Blizzard
“Well, there was a bit of a stir when it was decided that since corporations are people, they could technically run for president. But President Walt Disney-Pepsi-Comcast has done wonders for the economy… given that it’s… now the economy”
Don’t blame me I voted for Tim Apple
I used to call it ActiBlizz. What am I supposed to do now?
MS ActiBlizz sounds like the next addition to MS Office but they already renamed it to “Microsoft 365”
Microsoft Excel
Xbox
Eckbok
Shinra-Mishima-Zaibatsu
Wayland-Yutani
Omni consumer products.
I still think it’s hilarious that Facebook renamed to Meta, and anything they did with the “metaverse” was a huge failure. It’s like they didn’t learn their lesson from Second Life.
I’m just waiting for Omni Consumer Products (OCP) to open in Detroit.
Now we just need companies to have their own militaries and then for someone to nuke one of their towers. We’d have the whole nine yards.
“He burned down half the city just to prove he was right and burned the other half just for fun.”
Source? Please.
He burned down half the city just to prove he was right and burned the other half just for fun.
Cyberpunk
Thanks.
I could absolutely see a not-too-distant future where competitors of megacorps have their assets attacked by the government’s military.
Amazon is a standing military or armed navy away from beating the all-time high score.
Theranos sounded like a superhero villain. I guess it kind of was?
Pretty much. Welcome to the fucking future I guess. There’s no flying cars and green cities and happiness or bloody universal healthcare, instead we have corpos trying to turn us into their consumer slaves and governments turning authoritarian. Just do what you’re told and buy more. Don’t ask questions don’t think just browse TikTok, improve your social credit score, and imprint more ads into your psyche until WW3.
We’re walking into hell with our eyes wide open fuck me it hurts.
or bloody universal healthcare
I guess it depends on where you live. It’s not true of the whole world.
Murica. Yeehaw.
You want a trip down “is this a cyberpunk dystopia company” name, go check out the data brokers on the data broker registries in Vermont and California.
Acxiom, Experian, TransUnion, Oracle Data Cloud, CoreLogic, Axle, Equifax, Foursquare Labs, Inc., OnAudience, Nielsen, … … … …
California itself has about 517
Normal people reading dystopian fiction: “wow, the author really portrayed well the downfall of humanity if we were to go down the wrong path”
Billionaires reading dystopian fiction: “hey, you know what…”
Dude “X corp” totally sounds dystopian lmfao
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building better worlds
Time Warner
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I always thought this for the financial market: Standard & Poor
Moody
The Fed (as in, the past tense of feed)
fannie mae and freddie mac have this distinct dystopyian taste to me
Microsoft was way ahead of everyone.
My first ISP in the late 90s was Skynet Online.
You didn’t mention Facebook? That’s super dystopian to me. What’s a face book if not a large collection of identities being monitored?
What’s a face book if not a large collection of identities being monitored?
Well, historically (and I mean in the 1990s) it was a collection of names and photographs of all the new students at your college, to help in meeting people and/or to see who’s hot.
It sounds like a cursed item in D&D or something.
The Book of Faces Wondrous Item, very rare
This enchanted tome magically records the likeness each humanoid slain in its vicinity, preserving a snapshot of their life and memories. The book can be read to glean superficial information about it’s subjects. As an action, you can tear a page from the book to summon a ghostly spirit of its subject, which will be magically compelled to answer questions. The spirit knows nothing the owner did not know in life.
The Demon Lord Elgor Ithym is said to have a keen interest in this book…
👌🏼Pure delight
Now do it for MySpace and Twitter!
