• weedwolf@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    11
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    2 days ago

    I sniff things. I have a habit where if I am given something I sniff it first looking for a scent first. I do it more often with food than anything else, because I have childhood roach trauma and if anybody has had to deal with the german ones they have a specific smell. Clothing, body care products, boxes, tools, leaves, etc. I sniff it first before I do anything with it. I didn’t realize it was weird until my roommate asked me why I kept sniffing things he gave me to hold.

    I also shake my towel before using it (IYKYK). I’m trying to break myself on this one.

    In highschool nobody told me it’s not normal to put on Off like body spray before bed.

    Anything I am given from my mom or someone I’m not familiar with I leave it out in the sun 100’s ft away from the house for multiple days before I bring it it. I have to inspect every bit of it, shake it, turn it over, etc. Apparently that is not normal, according to some of my coworkers.

    I have holes in my fingertips that turn into ulcers and then get better, but it cycles. I’ve been to the doctor multiple times, they are stumped.

    I tend to pick at food when I am at someone’s house, especially if I’m new or they recently had a pest problem they’ve let me know about. I’m shut down, I can only drink water or I have to wait it out and then get food outside the home. I feel like a bad house guest but I’m so scared of eating bugs or mouse droppings.

    A lot of my abnormalities seem to stem from some sort of trauma response - I know these aren’t normal* now *but trying to break away from some of them is incredibly hard. I have just gotten to the point where I don’t ask anyone if I can shower before I actually shower in my home(it slips sometimes, I can’t help it). As an adult I realize I look like a paranoid ninny and I think my long time best friend just didn’t want to cause a breakdown or something when we were still in high school. I know she probably saw and knew, but I’m lucky I have her and her family worked with kids similar to my situation for a long time so they were the least judgmental people I knew during the dark ages. Also life is tons better, I just need to work on my weird habits like sniffing things. That’s gonna get me one of these days.

    • Paper_Phrog@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      19 hours ago

      Shaking the towel is not weird IMO. I do that always because sometimes those dryer lint balls stick to laundry. I’d hate to get that on my wet body.

      The body spray, I put on deodorant before sleeping to keep my pits fresh since I shower before bed. Works wonders!

    • AugustWest@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      2 days ago

      The “holes in fingertips” you snuck into the middle of all of the other quirks easily explained by insect-related trauma really baffles me. Is this like a persistent, intermittent, idiopathic wound? Or a physical abnormality?

      • weedwolf@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 day ago

        It is kind of random, I only remembered because I have a current ulcer right now that’s healing and it hurts to type sometimes! So it was like a “And by the way…” type of moment. I don’t know what causes it, it’s not insect related or me picking at them. It’s a recent development and when I try to ask my doctor I get a shrug and “your blood labs are amazing!”. I have a few other unexplained conditions I honestly think are related(raynaud’s, dysphagia, autonomic disorders), and when I try looking up other experiences people might have with holes in their fingers I basically get regular finger infections and scleroderma support groups. I have yet to see someone else with literal random holes in their fingertips that cyclically turn into ulcers/heal again lol.

        • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          1 day ago

          Have you spoken specifically to a dermatologist?

          Also, my condolences for all the crap you have had to deal with. That is: the original infestations, the continuing trauma, and the potentially-mean responses of people who don’t understand. I am but an internet stranger, but I feel you, and wish you luck on overcoming your struggles.

          • weedwolf@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            1 day ago

            You know, I have and they did dX me with eczema. I already knew I had that though; I started getting stress related pomphlox in graduate school. It’s weird what stress can do to you. I will probably go again for another check up to see if they have any further input; I’ve had a busy schedule and have been putting it off for some time. Everyone has been so sweet here though, it genuinely has made me feel better!

            • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              1 day ago

              fun fact about dermatology, vitiligo (the one skin disorder where patches lose pigmentation completely) is also stress response induced, because it’s an auto immune related disorder.

    • dumblederp@aussie.zone
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      1 day ago

      I’m currently reading “The body keeps the score” which is about ptsd effects and dealing with it. It makes might give you some things to think on and ways to care for yourself.

    • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 day ago

      I also shake my towel before using it (IYKYK). I’m trying to break myself on this one.

      i started doing this one after an insect crawled into my towel during a shower and spooked me, unlikely, probably wont happen many times going forward, but it’s ingrained now.

      I have holes in my fingertips that turn into ulcers and then get better, but it cycles. I’ve been to the doctor multiple times, they are stumped.

      this ones weird, but you don’t have any sort of weird behaviors that would maybe cause this? Skin usually doesn’t just break down like that, and when it does, it’s usually not just related to a specific point on the body, you would experience in a few places. But weirder shit HAS happened before, so who knows.

      • weedwolf@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        1 day ago

        Aw thank you! Life is waaay better now, granted I’m an adult and I have much more control over how my environment goes. But I no longer live in fear! So I’d say I’ve come great lengths.