I can relate to every one of these except apologizing to the table. I call the table a bitch and maybe tell it to get the fuck out of the way.

PRAISE THE OMNISSAIAH

Counterpoint: I say good morning to the llm and shut the fuck up to the self-service kiosk not because they are imbued with spirit but because I am. And I look at other humans and I worry about the ones who treat humans as inanimate objects and I don’t want to end like them.

So, we’re all animists deep down inside? Understanding the true nature of reality that all physical mater has a hyper-dimensional spiritual component and should be respected because all matter is part of the energy of the universe from which we also have emerged? So now we can finally worship the Sun and the Moon as demigods?

Oooooooh, no, it’s that we all need therapy. Sorry, yeah, that’s probably it.

When I’m loading the fridge with groceries and it starts beeping at me, I tell it to “shut your whore mouth.” Does that count?

It’s not as if they’re any less people than Americans.

i’m usually much less nice to them. but like who even says “please stay quiet” when we have “@#@?#!!&(?#”

I think it’s called “projecting agency”

“Stop fucking shouting at me. You’re a fucking robot” I calmly say to my car’s reversing sensors.

When my oven timer goes off I find myself saying (in Groundskeeper Willie’s voice) “Ah hears ya!”

.

The animists are right along! Everything literal thing are alive!

Resistentialism, but radical and violent? I’m in