• Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    i didn’t take them and i didn’t consent to them existing either. Neither did i consent to them being shown to anybody.

    Based on that reasoning, I should not show anyone any photo of my child until they were old enough to consent to them being taken.

    You can have your naked baby photos, you just also have to be in the photo and naked as well.

    I’m not embarrassed by my body and if that’s what her partner really wants to see, I don’t care.

    • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
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      4 months ago

      Based on that reasoning, I should not show anyone any photo of my child until they were old enough to consent to them being taken.

      This is actually solid advice, especially as far as social media is concerned.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        We’re not talking about social media, we’re talking about the significant other of my child. Or even relatives. I didn’t get my daughter’s permission to take her photo when she was a baby, so I shouldn’t have sent a photo to my father on the other side of the country based on this reasoning.

        • nomous@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          You’re (wisely) backpeddling now but you said:

          used to torture children in front of their serious romantic partners brought home for the first time.

          Things were different when we were kids. It’s a fucked up thing to psychologically abuse your (presumably) teenage kids like that and objectively people know that. (Your daughters) consent in the subject is the only thing that matters. The only reason anyone is giving you a pass is because you’re FlyingSquid, but maybe leave those pictures in the closet until closer to the wedding.

          • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            Oh please. It’s not psychological abuse. It’s “torture” the same way telling the story about the time they told a lady in the checkout line, “I came out of my mommy’s bagina!” when they were three to an adult child’s partner is torture.

            You show me an example of anyone suffering PTSD because their parents showed their partner baby pictures.

            • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              4 months ago

              You show me an example of anyone suffering PTSD because their parents showed their partner baby pictures.

              i literally provided myself as an example in this, i quite literally said that i would consider it a violation of privacy, and no that’s not PTSD, but PTSD is the extreme end of things here. We aren’t just talking about PTSD.

              • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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                4 months ago

                You claiming that it would give you PTSD is not evidence that anyone has suffered or is suffering from PTSD because of it. That’s just you making an assumption about a situation you’ve apparently never actually faced.

                  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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                    4 months ago

                    i quite literally said that i would consider it a violation of privacy,

                    That is what you said.

                    What you would consider it is irrelevant to what people who have experienced it have considered it.

            • Emerald@lemmy.world
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              4 months ago

              You show me an example of anyone suffering PTSD because their parents showed their partner baby pictures.

              Ah yes, because everything is ethical as long as the other party doesn’t develop a mental illness because of it

                • Rekorse@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                  4 months ago

                  I’m sorry, you can’t have experienced trauma unless you’ve had someone clinically analyze and diagnose you?

                  What kind of absurd bar is this?

                  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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                    4 months ago

                    Can’t? No. Has? Let’s see some evidence.

                    You can claim that seeing people in red hats causes trauma. Without evidence, it’s just a claim.

    • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      4 months ago

      Based on that reasoning, I should not show anyone any photo of my child until they were old enough to consent to them being taken.

      based on that reasoning i shouldnt expose my child to the visual perception of other people who exist outside in the chance that one of them non consensually perceives my child.

      You wouldn’t expose your child naked in public, why would you expose them naked on picture?

      I’m not embarrassed by my body and if that’s what her partner really wants to see, I don’t care.

      that’s great, the implication there is that you’re still showing it to other people, and if we’re talking family and friends, i don’t know many people that would want that.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        You wouldn’t expose your child naked in public,

        How exactly do you think someone changes a diaper at a park?

        • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          4 months ago

          i mean, most people use bathrooms. Considering that human waste is literally a biohazard, i feel like doing anything else would be quite rude at best, and arguably a crime at worst.

          • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            So you acknowledge that I would, in fact, expose my child naked in public. And with good reason. And everyone could see her genitalia when I did.

            Edit: Oh, sorry, misread. You think you can always make it to a bathroom? You have never had a baby.

            • Dasus@lemmy.world
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              4 months ago

              I might note here as a Finn that this prudishness concerning the naked human body seems very American.

              You’re not allowed to go to a public sauna in your swimming wear here. And if you’re a dad and have a small daughter, you’re obviously going to have her in the men’s changing room. And when I was a kid, I was in the women’s changing room with my mom.

              Even at parties it’s not uncommon to have a mixed-gender sauna where everyone is naked. I’d say most commonly it’s women wearing a towel and men wearing nothing, or if it’s in a sauna near a beach/lake then people will have their swimwear on most times.

              Still, just being naked isn’t considered sexual in any way. You can even see the non-sexual nature for about 50% of the people who are naked. (Vis-a-vis their lack of visible arousal.)

              • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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                4 months ago

                I was so confused by their comment that I totally misread it. Not only are they saying that most people wouldn’t change a baby’s diaper in public, but that it isn’t necessary sometimes. Like there’s always a place to do it discreetly when they’ve just had an explosion?

                • Dasus@lemmy.world
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                  4 months ago

                  I’ve noticed through-out the years that a lot of people on forums like Reddit and Lemmy have very weird and unrealistic ideas about what having kids is like.

                  • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                    4 months ago

                    idk i’ve grown up around a family with various siblings, and my experience has generally been that doing much of anything with a baby, especially one that shits itself is often more work than it’s worth.

                    maybe this shits uniquely american, but i can’t recall anybody just changing their babies diaper in public. In public bathrooms sure (a car even? Though i don’t consider that public), there’s changing stations there, and it’s to be expected, but certainly not just, in the middle of a park.

            • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              4 months ago

              hence why i said rude at best, because yknow, human fecal matter has never been known to cause disease and sickness in other humans. Let alone what kind of sanitary problems that would cause in most places.

              Im sure people carry kit with them, but shit happens (literally) and i would certainly want to be in a bathroom rather than not be in one, because that way it’s atleast contextually contained and expected. Also do you not have a car? That would certainly explain some of this.

              • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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                4 months ago

                It’s rude to change a baby’s diaper in public?

                Is it rude to breast feed in public as well?

                You have not ever had a baby if you think you can get to a bathroom or a car every time before an emergency happens.

                And you not knowing what it’s like to take care of a baby explains a lot.

                • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                  4 months ago

                  It’s rude to change a baby’s diaper in public?

                  considering you haven’t defined public, and don’t seem like you want to define public, yeah i’m going to say that’s probably rude.

                  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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                    4 months ago

                    considering you haven’t defined public, and don’t seem like you want to define public, yeah i’m going to say that’s probably rude.

                    Why are you lying?

                    I literally wrote this:

                    How exactly do you think someone changes a diaper at a park?

                    Not all parks have restrooms. Not all parks with restrooms have working restrooms. Not everyone drives their car everywhere.

                    I suppose next you’ll tell me that people should only take their babies to parks that have working and open restrooms or drive to a park.