Hold onto your butt’s for these. I have two that were equally awful.
I had a date with a guy I met on a dating site. His profile picture was of him standing way back in the background, so I couldn’t see what he looks like. But what the hell, he asked and I said yes.
He asked me out to IHOP at 9pm which is an unusual choice, but sure ok. I showed up a little early and sat at one of the booths. This guy walks in looking absolutely absurd. He’s wearing a fedora, a tacky animal print tshirt that’s way too large, tons of jewelry on his wrists/neck/fingers, cargo shorts, an attempt at a beard, and sandals with socks.
Not going great, but maybe he’s a nice guy with no sense for fashion. I’ll give him a shot.
We greet, he sits down, and with a raspy smoker voice, he begins to explain each and every piece of jewelry and what magical properties they bestow upon him. This one wards off evil spirits, this one wards off wraiths and phantoms, this one gives me the power to read emotions, this one allows me to talk to god, and on and on.
Clearly they weren’t working as I was very uncomfortable at this point. A man of his age dressing like that, being superstitious, and believing in magic? So very many red flags. I decided I never want to meet him again, but I was determined to finish the date on a positive note.
But then his ex-friends came into the IHOP, and shit went south quickly. They began to argue and shout at each another. Apparently my date was kicked out of their Pagan religion group… thing? My date was really bitter about it and decided to bring a date to this specific IHOP at this specific location and time because he knew his ex Pagan group regularly meets there. I think he was trying to prove something by having me there, but I don’t know what.
I paid for my half of the meal and slipped away. My date never noticed that I left. If his ex-Pagan group noticed, they didn’t say anything.
My second equally bad date was meeting another guy on the same dating site. He was an ok looking guy, 5 out of 10. But then again, I’m no beauty queen either so ehh, why not.
We were going to the movies for our first date, but we arrived suspiciously too early. He said he got the movie time mixed up, but we can pass the time walking around in the Petsmart store nearby. You clever clever man, that’s exactly how to melt my heart. Kudos to his plan.
We walked around the pet store, looking at all the cute animals, then we went to go see the movie. I don’t know why, but he refused to sit next to me. He insisted on keeping an empty seat between us. We ended the night and went our separate ways.
He called me again, inviting me to his Dungeons & Drafons game, which of course I said yes. Hell yes! But as it turns out, he had absolutely no interest in dating me. All he wanted was a female to join his game and play certain NPC roles in his campaign.
I’m ashamed to say I did the voice acting for his NPCs. After that, I never heard from the guy again.
I said I had never eaten vegan food. She asked if I’d like to try it at her favorite restaurant. She then made a huge deal about me being “only” vegetarian as we ate. Stunned as she went on and on about what a terrible, ignorant person I was, I noticed there was something odd about her front teeth, like they were stained. I didn’t think much of it and tried not to stare. She also kept insisting repeatedly that it wasn’t a date. Ok, that’s fine, I said which only seemed to make her angrier.
We get in the car, and I’m relieved it’s almost over. She looks in the rear view, and starts freaking out that I hadn’t told her she had lipstick on her teeth the entire time. I tried to explain I didn’t know what it was and didn’t want her to be self-conscious. Awkward silence as she drove me home. Next day I noticed she had blocked me on everything. Good riddance I guess.
I had never eaten vegan food
Really? You’ve never eaten just fries?
Good for you dodging that crazy bullet though.
If it has salt on it, it’s not considered Vegan…
You mean sea salt? Yeah, there’s tiny shellfish in it, which is why kosher salt exists
Stuff like these stories terrifies me from ever dating, even though I feel the sadness of being alone more and more. And I’m on my mid 30s but I just can’t imagine being in more awkward situations than the ones I’m already forced to be.
Mate I’ve had some cracker first dates that didn’t work out in the long run but were absolutely part of the tapestry which got me to here.
The number of good first dates far outweighs the weird and shitty ones.
Some of my most treasured experiences are those quiet intimate moments just between two of you. An experience that just the two of you share. It is profound.
We are our experiences.
That’s… Really not encouraging
Dating is like that hill everyone has to climb to get to the top where it’s really nice. But the hike up can really suck for some people. I really really hated dating but had to go through with it.
Yeah it’s just impossible, still sucks though, I’m sure I can give love, time and affection to someone out there but I’m just trapped. And seeing the very few people that you know (even in your family, like your siblings) getting in couples and even getting married while being 10 years younger than you feels like being poked to death.
Let me tell you a story my friend. I felt just like you one night. So to take my mind off of it I went for a walk. I lived in a downtown core at the time and there was a bunch of night clubs close by.
Any ways I was walking past a nightclub that had a small line-up of patrons waiting to go inside. A cute couple who were snuggling in each others arms caught my eye. “Oh great” I thought “I can’t escape this!” They were facing each other and laughing. Just as I get close to them the guy leans in and whispers something in her ear.
Well she must have not like it because she just hauls off and slaps him hard across the face. By the time I rounded the corner Security was having to hold them both apart while they were trying to fight each other.
I went home feeling alot better about myself and ordered domino’s.
After a while you stop feeling better, like after the 100th time you see a couple, or when you see your younger brother with his 4th girlfriend. I would take the slap. At least I’m being touched
Don’t let selection bias put you off. These stories are filtered by “worst date” and then you’ll basically only read the top ten over the top versions of those.
I guess most dates are around “fine” to “meh” and not traumatizing.
Is just too much to handle and if it ends bad feels like a death sentence
You don’t go into it looking to find a loneliness cure, you go into it looking to make a new friend. Maybe that friend can be more, but maybe not. The worst case scenario is the same as not trying, a decent outcome is a new friend (which can lead to expanding your pool of datable people!), and maybe you find a partner along the way.
I’ve been married for about a decade now, what I miss most about the dating scene is all the new friends I’d make and experiences I’d have.
I honestly don’t want friends. I just don’t wanna socialise, is just too much for me, I want to be engaged with a single woman and maybe create a family in a far future. That’s it
Yes, it’s inconvenient but how is your future SO going to meet you if stay at home? She’s probably unsocial like you but you could still meet her family or friends by dating eventually leading to her.
Of course you could try your luck staying online too but I’d suggest something else than niche platforms where tech enthusiasts are overrepresented like the Fediverse.
I don’t even chat privately online with anyone, I only get hurt and rejected.
An item of importance is to try not to put too much pressure on the situation. Just be friendly and see if you hit it off.
In practice this is difficult when you’re new to dating, but honestly you want to find someone you’re comfortable around (to a certain value of comfortable at first).
Most dates in my life were great. You’ll probably make some embarrassing mistakes, but the worst that can happen (within reason) is that you’re back where you are now.
I disagree on that last part that’s not the worst that can happen
A first date was already not going well, and I said I needed to go. He decided that wasn’t happening. Ended up having to run away from him, literally, through a park area while wearing heels to reach my car. It was daytime and many people saw what was happening, but no one did a thing to help. But I’m sure if it hadn’t been daytime, he wouldn’t have “let me” get away after catching me. There were just too many eyes on him.
I wore comfortable shoes I can run in to all first dates after that.
I wore comfortable shoes I can run in to all first dates after that.
This absolutely breaks my heart to read. Like I as a man will probably never relate to this struggle or be able to understand it on a personal level but probably all of my woman friends would read this and either think, “hey, that’s good advice” or “yup I already do that as well as XYZ to stay safe”
Like fuck. How is it that I put exactly zero effort into not being a creepy rapey predator, and I’m not chasing women to their cars, yet at the same time every woman that I know has a story at least somewhat similar? Why does it feel almost inherently true that there will always be a subset of shitty guys that view women as their prey/right/property/conquest?
What a shit world we’re living in.
I’m sorry for rambling and I’m sorry that this is something you have to live with.
Probably the first one I ever had.
Because my parents were there, too. 😩
In a world of bad dates due to abusive behaviour, this takes the cake for most cringe 😆🫣
It may be a cultural thing. Supervised dates for safety/approval is common in some parts of the world.
I had one where she obviously wasn’t actually interested and just came for the free food cause she was poor. I hung out for a bit, bought her an extra meal to go and then just left.
Hey, man. You dropped this: 👑
